W.O.W.!

Seriously? It has been two whole months since I last posted? Whoopsie! I hope ya'll weren't waiting with baited breath for my return! This blog post is going to be all about what I have been thinking about a lot lately; NUTRITION! dun dun dunnnn... I have known for a few years how bad the US is with over processed foods and high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils and all the other disease causing "foods" out there, but I kinda brushed it away until I saw the movie Forks Over Knives.  I am sure most of you don't like documentaries, I know I usually don't, but I highly recommend this one! It was a huge eye opener for me! I am hoping Joe will watch it too, even if it is just so I shut my face about it... Hi honey! I learned so much from that hour and a half! I have gone without pop for 3 days straight, PLUS other than sampling last night at a tastefully simple party, I haven't had bread, dairy, or sugar for 3 days! The sampling did do a number on my system though! I had nasty heartburn almost immediately after eating and I had horrible back/gas pain! Oy... I am going to be mostly going from the word of wisdom, which basically says, with regard to food, eat meat sparingly, eat lots of fruits and veggies, and whole grains. That is what I am going to try to do.

Here is the elephant in the room for me- how the freak am I going to do that when my family is not with this plan??? I have no idea. The kids had oatmeal with raisins and cinnamon and a teensy bit of stevia for breakfast. They gobbled it up! I know if I put any sort of colorful vegetables in front of them they will whine and cry and adamently state they refuse to eat it (Joe......  -.-) Does anyone have any tips for me or my kids to help them understand the whys behind the changes? Should I let them watch the movie too? Sassy's 8 year old saw part and said he wanted to make changes to his diet, so it may work... Help! I can't wait to see how this changes my body and how it works for me!

Confession of the day- I'm still having a chocolate party, even though I can't eat it. bummer...

She's Crafty isn't just a Beastie Boys song!

I have been kinda busy lately! I have been crafting! It all started when G-Funk (love ya gurrrrl!!!) invited me to craft at her house, sans my midgets! I am up for anything involving friends and not involving children. Except maybe cleaning toilets... gross... Anywho, I brought a bag of stuff to work on, and G-Funk lovingly gave me scrap paper she didn't need anymore. Natch, I had to look through said paper and get all my ooh's and aaahhh's out. This was some good schtuff!!! I instantly ditched my projects to do other papercentric projects! I got 3 name signs done while I was there!(Let's do it again soon lady!)
After I did that I had the crafting bug, so I started working on the name signs my friend Cathy paid me to make. That was also a lot of fun, although for most of it I was alone... I did watch 7 of the 8 episodes of The Kennedys though. Katie Holmes... smh... 
Once I got the name signs done I was on a roll! I went out to my project storage facility garage to see what a good project would be. I saw the cute wooden cabinet my mama got me for $5 at her neighbor's garage sale and knew it was the chosen one... I took the door off, taped off the punched metal design, and primed that sucker! Then I used a crapton of aqua spray paint all ova! When that was dry, I used chalkboard paint on the bottom. I kinda love it! I put it in a spot where I had a brown antique jelly cabinet. Now I am trying to figure out what is next! First things first though, I have to start feeling better. My allergies are really kicking my....

Do any of ya'll have fun projects you are working on? Do you know how to get my pictures onto here from facebook? What is your favorite Beastie Boys song??

Smooches,
MamaRa!

Ha ha, sucka!

Hashtag, not just a twitter term anymore! I have an adorable puppy dog! His name is Hashtag as well! Actually, it's Hashtag Falcor Raway. He is a licky little guy who oozes innocence, which makes the cat seem devilish... It's quite funny actually. Right now he is fluffy so he looks like an ewok, but his previous owner says he looks like Falcor when he is shaved. Either way he is a ball of cuteness!
Moving on, I am just wondering if ya'll have ever had a day when nothing goes right and it feels like it's all your fault and everything anyone says to you is OBVIOUSLY meant to wound your inner being? That was me last Sunday. What a horrible day. I seriously did everything wrong, and in front of important peeps at church! I felt worthless and just cried...and cried... and cried... It was cleansing, but not very fun.
So... guess who is excited for school to start?!?! ME!!! First grade is going to be amazing for Tater-bug! He is starting to get the hang of reading! (Listening and following directions, not so much... ) I am sure that he will have an amazing teacher who will be able to keep his attention long enough for him to learn something, but in the back of my mind I always wonder if there is something more different with him than just the whole distracted by shiny objects deal... I guess we'll find out, won't we?! Thanks for listening to me ramble on about nothing important.

Confession of the day: I had oatmeal with bananas, blueberries, walnuts, and cinnamon for breakfast. I am getting so lame....

By the by- what do you think of the pretty new colors? I like the slight revamp!

My new addictions...

So, now that we have the internet back, I have a problem... Craft blogs and etsy. I am addicted. Chronicles of a compulsive decorator, the shabby nest, in my own style, vintage revivals, house of Smiths, and funky junk just to name a few of my favorites! I have a million kajillion ideas of things I could do to this house and things I could make to sell! I am making all of my christmas gifts this year because of craft blogs. I have a garage full of furniture to help achieve the ideas in my brain that is stuffed with them. It's so fun, and yet, I bet Joe hates them. He doesn't like when I get creative because with me (tell me it's not just me...) creative= BIG A MESS!!!! I wish I knew how to post pictures of the finds on the blogs so I could show you!!! Someone (ahem Charlotte, pretty please?!?!) needs to show me what to do to make my blog as cool as other ones I have seen! Help! I need somebody... Anyhoot... I have also decided, because of these craft blogs and wanting new stuff in the house, I am having a garage sale. I am ready to part with stuff that used to mean a lot and now is just not my style. I will be glad to be done with some of this stuff, I just hope that people who gave these things to me don't get upset that I am selling... Know what I mean with that? With all of my Hoarders: Buried Alive watching, I have become more and more concerned that I may go that way... My dad is/was a hoarder of trash (ask Joe or my sister Cathy, they will agree, and possibly curl up into a ball and start crying... it was THAT nasty) When we got the call that he was in the hospital in a medically induced coma and we should come right away because he may be dying, we never in 284,729,327,239 years anticipated what awaited us in his rv. Nasty. I can't even describe it because there are no words to explain the "odor". That was the hardest thing I have ever done in all of my 25 years! (ok ok, 29... I tried...) My two sisters and I worked on it first, then Cathy and her hubby went back, and then Joe and I went back to finish. I was lucky enough to get to clean the bathroom portion of the rv. No words people... *insert shudder here... So, this post makes no sense, but what I am trying to say is I am excited to be out with the old and in with the new, even if it is a lot less new.

Confession of the day: I am a horrible giver upper of pop. I haven't been able to quit yet, but I am not drinking it every day like I was, and I see that as a step in the right direction. Yes?????

Love you all, MamaRa

Stomach aches and sleepless nights.

First things first, my son Benny is silly!  He has been so funny this morning! He pretended to use sign language to tell me that my friends are in trouble. So random! Anyway, I did a bad thing. Last night my stomach hurt more than it usually does (it has perpetually ached for probably two weeks now.) and Tate had a rough night, so my sleep quota was lacking. I knew that I would not make it today without caffeine, so I got a pop. I'm sorry about it, but I feel a little better after having it! I am less fuzzy for sure, but sadly my stomach still hurts. I am a bit of a hypochondriac, so I am convinced it's a peptic ulcer. I don't know what else it could be unless it's just bundled stress from our $ situation and another super sad possibility in my life that I currently can't discuss because nothing is fo sho yet. I only know that I don't like how this feels and I don't want to have to go to the dr. without health insurance... I am going to try taking something for heartburn to see if it'll help. Also today I was supposed to go swimming with my adorable nephew Braeden, but it's raining. Boooo.... he is still sleeping over though, so we'll have fun no matter what! The boys love that little guy! I realize that this made no sense, so perhaps the pop didn't help that much... Side note- Benny just ripped one and it was NASTY!!!!! hurl.....

Divorce and diet pepsi, totally unrelated....

Divorce- I have two friends who have no other choice but to divorce their spouse and another friend who just finalized her divorce. I am so sad for these friends because they couldn't make it work. It wasn't their fault that any of the marriages didn't work, and all of them were willing to work on it but the other half was already checked out. I just wanted to say that this truly makes me grateful for my own wonderful (albeit sometimes bossy... -.- ) husband. To my friends who have gone through this, I am here if you  need anything!

Diet pepsi- I just read the book  Food Matters by Mark Bittman. I loved it! My family is going to hate that I read it.... Have you ever had a feeling in the back of your mind that what you were doing or saying was not what you should be doing, but you didn't WANT to do what you should? That's how I am about food... I know that fruits and vegetables are the best options and whole grains and some meat is good too... Heck, it even says so in the LDS Word Of Wisdom!! That means it's kind of a big deal! Still, I ignored it... I think God would love loaded nachos! With a big diet pepsi from the fountain of love at Kwik Trip too! Perhaps he would follow it up with a 1/2 pound hamburger... Yeah, I think God is smarter than that I guess... Turns out, we really shouldn't eat as much meat as we do in America, and everyone is paying for it... Even the vegetarians who don't eat beef or the vegans who use no animal products at all are suffering! Want to know why? Cattle farms produce more pollution than vehicles! Isn't that sad? And also ridiculous if you ask me. Starting yesterday, I am cutting out soda from my diet, and lowering my meat intake greatly, and increasing the fruit and veggies! **** WARNING- I MAY BE CRABBY WHILE I GO THROUGH WITHDRAWLS... BEAR WITH ME****
So the moral of this story is, oatmeal with cinnamon, apples, walnuts, raisins, and a teeny bit of brown sugar is delicious!!!!

Confession of the day- I want school to start NOW!

Lots of love, MamaRa

The b#*ch is back!

Who missed me??? It's ok, you can tell me! I feel like I have been unable to truly whine without this blog, so I apologize if I get annoying... What's new in my world you ask? Well... I put my gym membership on hold until I can find a way to make it work... Sad, but it had to be done. I have pink streaks in my hair from my 1/3 life crisis which magically turns me into Jem! Who wants to be a hologram with me??? I have way more amazing friends than I thought I did! I love having friends!!!!! I think this is the first year I actually have a decent tan too! I am so shocked that my norwegian skin isn't super ultra bright white right now! Now the bad news.... Since Tate is on summer break, my patience is wearing thin even sooner in the day and his inability to listen and outright defiance is driving me BoNkErS and I have no idea what to do about it! I know he needs a schedule with what to do when, but I am way too flakey for that kind of thing and my brain simply cannot think like that! Thankfully he starts 5 weeks of summer school Monday so this mama can have a break! Yesss..... Don't get me wrong, I love my little Tater-Bug, but I think his summer mission is to get me into a fitted hug me jacket in a padded room... Also, the kiddos have been fighting more and more. I thought I would get lucky and they would love each other all the time and be sweet and cuddly... I have very vivid dreams... I am getting tired of the tattling and screaming and whining.... It hurts my throat! (get it???) Well, this post was just to let y'all know that I am back online, so you'll get more posts! Love you all!

I almost forgot my confession of the day! I had leftover sopapilla cheesecake for breakfast! I have already forgotten all about that gym membership apparently....

MamaRa signing out!

Please please please!!!

I am sure my sister will have an amen to say about this (right Cathy????), but when I was younger, I was a BRAT! You probably can't tell now, since I am so kind and giving (sometimes...), but as a child through my teenage years, I was horrible. I was horribly spoiled by my parents. I'm not sure if it was because they were older, divorced and wanted me to pick favorites, or simply because I was the last (and cutest! :-p) baby. If things didn't go my way, I would give up and go pout obnoxiously. I remember sitting on my sister Debbie's steps pouting for a long time at a family get together, but for the life of me I can't remember why. Looking back, I see how juvenile my behavior was, but then, I WAS juvenile....Nowadays I try to be more giving and caring. I try not to be selfish (although I am sure Joe will disagree with this statement until the day he dies, just because he likes to disagree with me) and honestly with kiddos, I don't have too many opportunities to be selfish. Here's the thing though... I don't WANT  to give up my gym membership. We talked about it and decided the extra million dollars (give or take) would really help us, but now I don't know if I can.... I know, it's horrible. Paying all the bills on time and paying the full 10% tithing are super important, but so is my sanity, right? RIGHT?!?!?!!?? Does anyone have any ideas? I could have a bake sale once a month... I could clean houses for cash.... Anyone wanna buy one of my eggs? I make cute kids! Nobody? That's too bad.... I take donations too! I want y'all to brainstorm some ideas for extra dinero for the gym. I'm a good cause, right?

Confession of the day: I smell.... yay overly crowded kickboxing class!

Friends- my own personal drug!

I love all of my friends. You know who you are! I have the most supportive, loving, silly, adorable, (sometimes) dirty minded friends a gal could ask for! I had so many positive responses to my talk Sunday from my church friends, I had one friend help me dye my hair and another cut it, saw my ldbff this weekend, and just now a friend came to bring me and Benny to his school because I could NOT find my stinking keys! (they were between my seat and the center console in my jeep... duh...) Last night we went to a friend couple's house for dinner. We had a BALL and Joe ate like he was a king! (sorry about depleting your food stores Wisemans!) I honestly think I would shrivel up and die if I didn't have friends. Joe would agree! He, in his own "sweet" way, calls me a friend whore. I L-O-V-E love friends! There was a speaker at Time Out For Women, which is a church run 2 day extravaganza of spiritualness and humor, who said that NOT having friends is like smoking 15 cigarettes a day! That doesn't sound healthy! That makes me think that the 495 friends I have on facebook make me healthy, or at least healthier... I doubt it means I can stop exercising (which I am FINALLY going to get back to doing since I can breathe again...) or eating better, but I feel every little bit counts, right? I wanna know what the best thing a friend has done for you is? What is something you have done for a friend that was super amazing?

Confession of the day: I bought two cartons of ice cream and waffle cones from Aldi yesterday... Don't tell the kids!

Running around in your undies!

Confession of the day: Sometimes I think it would be really nice to live in a nudist camp because then you get to skip out on doing so very much laundry... I hate, nay, I LOATHE laundry...

So, I like to compare and contrast, does anyone else have a child that could hang out exclusively in their undies (today they are Incredibles...) all day long and is ok with it? I get up after my children (jealous?) and every morning Tate is dressed. Sometimes he is wearing real clothes, sometimes he is Obi Wan Kenobi. Benny however, wears naught but the panties. Is that strange? It is currently 11:53 and he is still in them. I have tried to coax him into clothes, but he simply doesn't care. Is that weird? Should I be pushing him to get dressed, even if we aren't going anywhere? What do ya'll think? He IS only 4... Moving on, is anyone else super blah about today and the gray skies? Boo hiss to this sort of weather! My house is STILL a mess and I have no motivation to clean it! I LOVE music and have to listen to it for motivation most of the time, but I still don't think even that would help on a day like today...

Today's post was brought to you by the letter B and the number 4.
The end, Mama Ra

Information overload!!!

If you know me, you know I am not organized at all. My "office" has bills, random paperwork, Tate's artwork, and a Parents magazine strewn about on my desk. I have no idea what I am doing at this grown-up thing! Help, I'm drowning! I just had to set up some payment plans to get caught up on all of our bills, so we have NO money. Anyone know about some part time job opportunities for a stay at home mama? I don't know how we are going to pull this off... If anyone needs a mechanic who will charge less than a traditional shop let me know. Have you ever felt like you were drowning (I can't swim, so when I get into water I kinda look like Little John from Robin Hood, Men In Tights flailing about like I'm trying to fly or something. Total ridiculousness!!!) and didn't know where the shore was? Ok, that's enough of my whining for today. On to some fun stuff!

I told Tate that we had a lot of stuff that we had to do while Benny is at school and I said he HAD to help me. He was more than willing to help and he even wrote numbers 1 to 19 on a piece of paper, just so he could cross them off when each of his "jobs" was done. He made my bed (so sweet!), fed the neighbor's fish (1 pellet), loaded the dishwasher with dirty dishes he found all around the house, and even scheduled a break for him and I. I love my boys! They are so considerate when they can tell Mommy is going postal! Hooray! I did all of my phone calls and investigating for paying less per month options for bills. I lead a charmed life FOR SURE!!! Side note: does anyone know what all is involved in trying to go back to school? Are there any grants or anything for moms, even if they are married? I have one more year of Benny in preschool, and then I will have 3 hours free time EVERY DAY and if I can find online courses or something, it would be awesome. I'm pretty much just thinking with my fingertips right now, but I have to explore my options, right?

Oops, I almost forgot my confession! I have to give a talk in church this Sunday, and I haven't even started!!!! Ha ha ha!!! I am going to bomb! Hooray!

Love you all,
Mama Ra

 This is my clan. From left to right: Bennett-4, Tate-6.5, Joe-30, me- I'll never tell...

 I like this pic a little better, but I'm still blah about how I look...

These are my angels! I love them soooo much!!

Deep dark feelings... who's excited?!?!

Confession of the day: I had 4 cookies and a diet pepsi for breakfast... and I liked it!

Here's a little background info for ya'll...
I have never had high self esteem. I have never really liked myself. I have always been "too" something..
too fat, too stupid, too forgetful, too lazy, too tall, too ugly, too pasty white... I'm not quite sure who exactly I was comparing myself to, but I can tell you THEY are obviously perfect! I remember being in elementary school and doing dance recitals. Every single one I felt I screwed up. I stepped wrong, did the wrong arm movements, or my timing was off.  My Mom is a sweet woman, but she has no filter. I hated clothes shopping with her because everything was too tight, too short, or showed too much fat. Oddly enough, all of my friends are gorgeous. Ever since Junior High when I became friends with Lisa (who looks like a fricken Victoria's Secret model... love ya Lisa!), I have been last choice with boys/men. I had a few boyfriends in high school before I met my husband Joe. Not many guys like bigger girls, especially in high school. For some strange reason he can see the inner beauty more than any other man I've ever met.( Today is our wedding anniversary by the way. Happy 9th babe!!!) I don't even feel like a good wife or mom though! My house is ALWAYS a mess, and right now my boys are watching wii netflix. They do that a lot.
Ok, that is enough whining and wallowing in my sorrow for one day! The good thing is the whole purpose of this blog is to improve my personal feelings about my perceived short-comings. I hope this wasn't a major downer for ya'll, you know I love you!

Signing off,
Mama Ra

Side note- how the flipper do I put pics on this blasted thing????

My first post!!!

This blog is my public journal. I will write sporadic posts about who knows what, because that is just how I roll... I am embarking on a personal journey (that I am sharing with YOU! You are welcome!!!) to improve my self esteem and become who I want to be, no matter my flaws and strengths. I hope to be funny, sincere, and entertaining, all while figuring myself out... Enjoy friends!!