Confession of the day: I had 4 cookies and a diet pepsi for breakfast... and I liked it!
Here's a little background info for ya'll...
I have never had high self esteem. I have never really liked myself. I have always been "too" something..
too fat, too stupid, too forgetful, too lazy, too tall, too ugly, too pasty white... I'm not quite sure who exactly I was comparing myself to, but I can tell you THEY are obviously perfect! I remember being in elementary school and doing dance recitals. Every single one I felt I screwed up. I stepped wrong, did the wrong arm movements, or my timing was off. My Mom is a sweet woman, but she has no filter. I hated clothes shopping with her because everything was too tight, too short, or showed too much fat. Oddly enough, all of my friends are gorgeous. Ever since Junior High when I became friends with Lisa (who looks like a fricken Victoria's Secret model... love ya Lisa!), I have been last choice with boys/men. I had a few boyfriends in high school before I met my husband Joe. Not many guys like bigger girls, especially in high school. For some strange reason he can see the inner beauty more than any other man I've ever met.( Today is our wedding anniversary by the way. Happy 9th babe!!!) I don't even feel like a good wife or mom though! My house is ALWAYS a mess, and right now my boys are watching wii netflix. They do that a lot.
Ok, that is enough whining and wallowing in my sorrow for one day! The good thing is the whole purpose of this blog is to improve my personal feelings about my perceived short-comings. I hope this wasn't a major downer for ya'll, you know I love you!
Signing off,
Mama Ra
Side note- how the flipper do I put pics on this blasted thing????
Your house is a mess because you have children. No one in the real world has a picture-perfect house with small children running around in it. Don't be so hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteI can show you how to post pics. You're also too funny :) - Tom
ReplyDeleteAnna - We are all insecure about ourselves in different ways. You are not alone. I think we are all fighting the demons of our past. Those little seeds that were planted in our brains by parents, siblings or well - meaning friends. It's an opportunity for us to learn and grow. I love you, though! You are awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy confession for the day: handful of chocolate chips for a mid-morning snack! :)
Deb
@Charlie- I do what every woman SHOULDN'T do, I compare myself to the other sahm's I know that have clean houses, children, and yards. I realize that my boys are messy, but sadly, (and don't tell Joe I am admitting this...)most of the mess comes from me...
ReplyDelete@Deb- I know I am not alone, but I want others who think they are to know it too! I know my own personal issues are shared by many in the world, I'm just willing to share! :-) Again, you are WELCOME!
@Tom- I am the perfect amount of funny! Please show me what I am doing! I thought I cracked the blog photo code, but I was wrong... Downer!!
ReplyDeleteAnna,
ReplyDeleteEven though I barely know you as an acquaintance, I can tell you I always thought you were a sincere, hilarious person. Just wanted to share that and I hope to see you soon.
(GRR! I had this whole amazing response typed, and it didn't post it cause my internet is sucky. Let's try again.)
ReplyDeleteFor starters, lovely Anna, I've always loved your honesty! I think we don't admit our insecurities enough, which makes them tougher to deal with (I think)
Lame little thing I've learned in the past few years. Though we'll always compare ourselves to the skinnier/prettier/smarter ladies of the world, I've found it super helpful to compare myself to, well, me! Remember what a crazy mess I was back in the depot days? I'm pretty damn proud of the fact that all that bs brought me to where I am now, and who I am!
Have you thought about the glass half full side... How adorable and hilarious your kids are, what an amazing cook you are (or I assume from your posts) and how your ever changing look is always new and exciting! I know, I know. Cliche to think of it that way, but truly, it's really helped me feel better in my skin. There's still work to be done, but if we've made it this far- We can do anything!!
Can't wait to see more of your posts!
xoJess
oh! and my confession of the day... you know how some people are control freaks, or have eating disorders? When I get super stressed and feel out of control... I pluck my eyebrows. You know it's a bad week when they are perfectly shaped!
ReplyDelete